Travis Smola
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Tourist  Traps are Awesome

7/30/2014

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A week ago, I had the distinct pleasure of going to Hell. Quite literally. 
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Yes, there really is a town in Michigan called Hell, and there's a helluva lot of puns to go along with visiting the place. (see what I did there? insert snicker here) 
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"Hell" isn't a very big place. On one end you have a gift shop crammed with Halloween decorations and T-shirts that proudly proclaim slogans such as: "Hell....it's safer than Detroit!" and on the other side you have an ice cream shop with a post office so you can send postcards postmarked from Hell. Someone recognized the potential for tourism to this spot and was definitely cashing in. Indeed, Hell was a very busy place while I was there. 

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Still, as corny as it all was, I loved it. Ever since I was very young, I've loved visiting these types of places. It's something that continues for me to this day. Yes, I couldn't help myself and pulled off of 75 north once to see the "Man Eating Clam" and yes, I once couldn't help myself and plunked down $7 for Saint Ignace's "Mystery Spot" even though I knew it was all a manufactured illusion. 

I know these places are just out to make a buck, but there's just something I really enjoy about these little pieces of Americana. Sometimes I'll buy a souvenir, most of the time I don't. It's just the visiting of the place that makes the experience for me. 

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My favorite locations are often the ones based on local history or legend. The crazier the story, the better. As was the case with the "Mothman Museum" in Point Pleasant, WV.  Where else can you go to see a 7 ft winged man with red eyes hanging from the ceiling?

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One of my favorite places in the world is Mackinaw City, MI. Every time I go up there, I just have to walk through all the crappy gift shops that are there. Why? I don't know, I rarely buy anything. It's not like I need a million T-shirts with the Mackinaw Bridge on them. I guess a lot of it goes back to my childhood when my folks used to take my brother and I there all the time. We loved begging them for the crappy toys they sold that usually ended up breaking before we even got back to the campground where we were staying.
Some of these places just use plain old brute force to get you in the door. If you've ever driven through South Dakota, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The signs for Wall Drug literally dot the sides of the highway all the way across the state. The signs proclaim all the wonders of Wall Drug: dinosaurs, free ice water, souvenirs, family fun fun fun!!!
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Then, assuming you are traveling from West to East, you jump off the highway and do it all over again three hours later when you visit the Mitchell "Corn Palace"
So, after two or three hours of driving past the thousands of billboards, you finally pull off the road when you get to Wall because you just want to shut the billboard maker up already. Of course, when you get there, you find that it filled with the same crappy souvenirs as the last place you visited, the "Free Ice Water" is lukewarm at best, and the robotic T-Rex is broken today, but you still can't help but walk away with a smile on your face. 
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Because I'm weird, I'll even place tourist traps on my bucket list of places to visit. Places like the Abita Mystery House and "The Thing" have been on my radar for some time. Just waiting for the opportunity to stop in for a visit.  I don't think I can really pin down any one reason why I enjoy these corny "Clark Griswald" type locations so much. I guess I'm just a sucker for anything roadside America. 

The places above are some of my favorite tourist traps, are there any notable ones I've missed? Let me know in the comments or via Twitter. 
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    Travis Smola, aka: "Tsmola" avid outdoorsman and journalist.  This blog will feature my thoughts on geocaching and the outdoors in general. 

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